331) This Is My Friend

I thought my posts here at SXSW would be more tech/social media/digital focused, but I keep having to do cell posts since I'm out sans laptop all day. Which is not at all conducive of complex and deep topics. I have a little break right now so I'm sitting at the PepsiCo lounge typing away with one finger.

Last night I was out at The Blind Pig on 6th St., the third stop of a long night (not cut out for marathon parties. So sleepy today, zzzzzz). I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hi, I'm Andy," says the tapper. I introduce myself back.

"This is my friend, Josh." He pulls forward a sheepish-looking pal.

STRIKE ONE. Fellas, if your friend has to introduce you, it's an instant red flag. You've essentially been set up to look like a chump by your extroverted, gregarious friend. I get that some people are shy, but your friend really isn't doing you any favors by opening for you.

"Josh really needs to get laid. He's on the way to becoming the 40 year old virgin."

As if I wasn't already sold. STRIKE TWO. At this point, no one feels comfortable, except for Andy, who thinks he's hilarious.

"So, can he buy you a drink?"

Um, no. Because that was the worst opener ever. You just made Josh sound like the least desirable charity case in the world.

This was the worst one I've heard, though I've encountered the friend-intro before. Never say never, but it's never worked.