This morning, I rode my bike over to One Life Natural Foods for one of their fresh fruit smoothies. After the ordering, paying and receiving song and dance, I went and retrieved my ride from its locked location on the sidewalk. I thought I'd be clever and attempted to bike and drink at the same time. I got as far as the crosswalk before the smoothie slipped and exploded on the ground under me. I wheeled my bike back to the sidewalk, face burning, legs splattered with bright pink (strawberry) $4.50 smoothie.
An older man happened to be exiting the grocery store, and chivalrously offered to stay with my bike while I ran inside for some napkins. When I returned, he struck up a conversation as I wiped myself clean. He kept using phrases that made it seem like he already knew me really well - those vague phrases that psychics use. Things like, "You are a multi-tasker, huh?" (in response to my efforts to bike and sip), and "You are a person who is all about the details, huh?"(in response to my career aspirations). At one point he asked me if I lived in the area, noting that he too lived just around the corner.
This exchange reflects the naive question that continually goes unanswered: how can you tell if a guy is hitting on you, or is just being plain friendly? The inability to distinguish between the two has left me in less than favorable situations in the past. A seemingly harmless conversation with a stranger suddenly becomes an uncomfortable back track explanation that I have a real or fictional boyfriend. On the other hand, uncertainty and fear of misinterpreting a crush's friendliness leads to inaction and later, regret. Male and boyfriends alike have rolled their eyes at my naivety, saying that guys will ever approach with the intention of being just friends. At the same time, the idea of automatically putting up one's guard doesn't seem right either.
(Picture from the New York Times.)
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