310) "Good" Men Still Here

A friend posted this gem of an WSJ article this morning. It's worth a read through, though I've posted the video version above.

As soon as I started reading the article, I knew I had to write about it today. It deals with something I'm crazy about - the analyzing of cultural shifts as they relate to gender roles and social relationships.

But that's where my positive affirmation ends.

Without getting all ranty, I'm here to stand by men in their mid-twenties. As their female counterpart, I think the article paints an unfair picture of a legion of juvenile undesirables.

Author Kay S. Hymowitz talks about males taking longer to "grow up" due to a cultural delay in marriage (that the average age for females to be married these days is 26 FREAKS me out), an increase in choice of career, a more competitive job economy, and the fact that women do not need men to have a family anymore. The flaw in this argument is that it assumes females, despite our rise in dominance in academia and the job market, still ultimately want the same thing - a family. Why else would we be looking for a "good" man?

The reality is that the increase in choice of career and the competitive job economy are gender-neutral in their effects. This generation of young adults do take their time figuring things out, because we can. Wouldn't you, if you had all these possibilities in front of you? We (men AND women) have broken the mold on acceptable and successful careers. There's no need for some of us to "climb the ladder" as Hymowitz states - we built the ladder and seated ourselves on top of it from the get-go.

"Men are kind of confused about what's expected of them."

"Today's pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn't say. He has to compete in a fierce job market, but he can't act too bossy or self-confident. He should be sensitive but not paternalistic, smart but not cocky. To deepen his predicament, because he is single, his advisers and confidants are generally undomesticated guys just like him."

If that's so, call me a man. Women are just as conflicted about what to become, and how to act. In fact, this whole article could be re-written about females.

Even the pop cultural representations in the article are skewed. What about the hoardes of chick lit out there, celebrating single and sassy young females, the most famous of which kept four New York ladies in a bizarre pre-adulthood for decades? The article also assumes that women don't like video games or Star Wars. I won't even begin to go into all the stats that say otherwise.

I think what got me most was that by bashing men, the article implied that by comparison, women in their mid-twenties know exactly what they want. As a 25 year old female, I can tell you that that couldn't be farther from the truth.

And I like guys who are into Star Wars.