141) Young Couples

(Photo from Tales from Corea del Sur.)

Walk the streets of Seoul and you'll notice that young love is in the air. Everywhere you look there are pairs of lovebirds linked at the hands. But you also see some things that you probably wouldn't see in the US. Like a couple on a bicycle for two, except not a tandem - the girl just sits on the second seat while the guy pedals for both. Or a guy holding not only his girlfriend's shopping haul, but also her handbag as they walk down the street. And my favorite, spotted on a particularly hot day - a Korean male walking behind his girlfriend, holding up her hair and fanning her neck (we're talking with a real fan) while they walked.

My brother Max, who has been studying abroad in Seoul for the summer, told me that Korean men are known to dote on their girlfriends. The question, as always, is why? Unfortunately, I haven't had the time (or language skills) to really delve into the topic, but from a few brief conversations with family and friends, here's a speculation.

It would seem that in a traditionally patriarchal society the women would be expected to serve the men. This may still hold in married Korean couples, but contradicts the behavior of young couples we see on the streets. Interestingly, the hierarchy manifests itself in a different way in this courtship period before marriage. When dating, Korean men dote on their significant others as a sort of showmanship of his ability to take care of a woman. There's an aspect of bravado and old fashioned chivalry expressed in modern day. So while holding your woman's purse and fanning her Cleopatra-style in public may not seem all that manly, here it is just that - an expression of male dominance.

I cringe to think what this post would have been like, had I been able to talk to these young couples. Let's just consider this an uneducated hypothesis. I suspect that the answer is much more complicated. No doubt this behavior has evolved, and that the socio-ideals of Korean youth have to be considered.