15) Ladder Theory

Back in college, I kept a xanga to chronicle my days. An honest, though clearly self-conscious and sometimes emo xanga. It still exists online, a veritable encyclopedia of 18-21 year-old thoughts. Once in awhile I'll go back and sift through the entries, chuckling at my own naiveté and marveling how much things have changed.

On one such look-back, I came across a Ladder Theory I'd written about:

So, I'm sure many are familiar with the ladder theory. Two ladders, side by side. I guess the distance between the ladders depends on the situation, but I'll get to that. Let's say the one on the left is the Friend ladder, and its neighbor on the right is the More than Friends ladder. The pattern this year for me has been as follows: I meet a guy and scale up the Friends ladder with ease. I climb it fast - self disclosure, secrets, favors, outings, time, I give it up without a second thought. When I get fairly high up on the Friends ladder, I've developed the awful habit of sticking my right foot out, hooking the More than Friends ladder, and dragging closer to the Friends ladder. Once it seems to be within reach - by means of misinterpreted friendliness, drunk affection, who knows - I'll reach out and try to grab the More than Friends ladder. I'll stretch towards it, usually in the most awkward way possible. However, the More than Friends ladder is always farther than it seems. Worst case scenario is that I reach out too far and lose my grip on the Friends ladder and come crashing down in between the two ladders.

Corniness aside, the Ladder Theory can be applied to other horizontal moves, such as changing departments, migrating to a new company, or switching careers entirely. But the distance between the ladders is only one of many things to take into consideration. Is your current ladder secure? If not, perhaps you're just jumping ship instead of fixing an unstable ladder. Consider how much control you have over its stability. Is it rickety because you've neglected/mistreated it, or is someone else rattling it from below?

And how stable is the other ladder? Often it's hard to judge from a distance. You never really know until you've actually started climbing.