198) See Friendship 5:14 PM

(Photo from Facebook's blog.)

Later, "See Wall-to-Wall" link. Last Thursday, Facebook quietly replaced the function with Friendship Pages, or the "See Friendship" link. Essentially, a Friendship Page is a aggregation of all shared Facebook activity between two people - wall posts, photos, events attended, mutual friends, etc. It's a clear, well-rounded documentation of friendship, as expressed on Facebook.

The very concept of being able to see other people's friendships mapped out is one sprung from social media itself. Before, there weren't any public displays of friendship - you wouldn't share all your emails, photos, notes to one friend with another friend. Did we even care to know what went on between two mutual friends back then?

Now, because we can, we do. We are able to be voyeuristic in an anonymous way, giving us the freedom to peek in on people's friendships and relationships (Especially relationships. Friendship Pages software engineer Wayne Kao cites, "One of my favorite Facebook moments is browsing photos from friends in the News Feed after they've begun a new relationship, gotten engaged or gotten married," as his inspiration). And now with Friendship Pages, Facebook does the work for us, aggregating info we once sought out onto one convenient page.

This social media-born curiosity of what goes on between friends or between significant others - healthy, unhealthy or besides the point?

197) Costume Observations 6:47 PM

(Photo from Trendhunter.)

As a nod towards Halloween, here are some observations on what makes a good/popular costume.

1) Cultural relevance, current or classic - This one's pretty obvious. Persona in pop culture, politics and other news get picked up as Halloween costumes due to their timeliness or timelessness. Examples seen this year - Current: Snooki and The Situation, Christine O'Donnell (she served that one up on a silver platter with her "I'm not a witch" ad), Chilean miners. Classic: Tom Cruise in Risky Business (white button down, underwear, black shades, socks), any Star Wars character, Marilyn Monroe.

2) Immediately recognizable to the masses - This ties into #1, since relevance usually equals recognizability. However, what some consider relevant may be obscure to others. For a while I thought it'd be funny to be Russell Brand, but two out of the four people I ran the idea by didn't know who I was talking about. In this sense, recognizability is a good measure for mass relevance. The one exception to this rule are the costumes discussed in #3.

3) Clever - These are the riddle costumes that take a little bit of thinking and piecing together. The best ones have a satisfying A-HA moment. Examples seen this year: Freudian slip (a slip with Freudian written on it), a nudist on strike (normal clothes with a sign around your neck that says, "Nudist on Strike").

4) Slutty - The writers of Mean Girls nailed it - "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." I've been thinking about why this is the case. Why every mass produced female Halloween costume sold in a bag is slutty (not just cutesy, just plain slutty), even costumes that aren't at all slutty in real life (see: slutty nun).

At the core, Halloween is about being someone else for a night, letting your inner freak flag fly, as they say. In some ways, it can be a little aspirational. Deep down (and sometimes not so deep down), women want to feel sexy, noticed, simultaneously liberated and objectified from time to time (a biological thing? tied to the desire to be seen as an eligible mate?). Halloween simply provides a judgment-free environment in which to do so. Is my theory.

5) Couple and/or group costumes - There is power in numbers. Simply put, you can dress up as anything you want if you have a few pals willing to do the same. Sticking with the group becomes imperative (example: a DNA strand made of people: cool. One lone double helix? not so much).

Happy and safe Halloween!

196) Hype Me Up 7:24 AM

(Tim Curry, never sexier. Photo from Gretchen Jones.)

Hype, in general, is a good thing. Retail and entertainment brands know that hype for their product/movie/book/service will translate to consumption and sales.

But sometimes, hype can be off-putting, and in some cases, debilitating. We all have those movies or books that we know we should watch/read based on the unanimous praise they've received. The ones that glean the wide-eyed, intonation lifted, "You haven't seen [insert movie here]??" response. These pieces of media get so built up in our minds that a sort of mental block gets formed. It becomes something you know you should do, not something you actually want to do.

I consider myself up to date on pop culture, but by current standards, I watched The Shawshank Redemption, Godfather I and II, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Let the Right One In way later than I should have. All suffered the same mental block, sitting on my Netflix list, just waiting for me to come around. The silly thing is, once I did watch them, I loved them just like everyone said I would. (Same goes for anything written by Malcolm Gladwell, Freakonomics and Fast Food Nation.)

It makes little sense, resisting something that the masses and close friends have deemed a must-see. But something - the high expectations, another thing on your to-do list, the mental joining of said masses - requires a little extra effort.

PS - currently on the mentally blocked list: Oldboy, Glee, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

195) Apologies for Digital Verbosity 4:36 PM

(I realize it's impossible to read, so just click here to appreciate. A semi-relevant comic from The Oatmeal, which you should follow if you don't already. Every comic is funny because it's so true.)

Does anyone else get uncomfortable around long emails? Do you find yourself apologizing for particularly lengthy ones? I was writing my online pen pal (not as sketchy as it sounds) earlier this evening and found myself asking for forgiveness twice over the abundance of scrolling involved in reading my response.

It all ties back to the initial purpose of electronic mail. Correspondences were meant to be short, quippy, quick reads to match the efficiency of delivery. No longer would we have to spend our time waiting for a letter, and then take the time to read three hand-written pages of script. Instead, we can shoot notes back and forth instantly - pew pew pew.

These email expectations get the better of me. Knowing that they're supposed to be brief, I assume that a long email might not be entirely read, or will not be read that closely (admittedly, there is something daunting about the sight of a whole page of text). I apologize at the end of long emails as if somehow what I said wasn't worth reading, wasn't worth their time. Which is silly. (Thinking back, I do this with long blog posts too...)

If we think of email as just an upgrade in the method of delivery, what's so wrong about long content? It's not like it takes Gmail longer to send a verbose email than a succinct one. Understandably, there are times where long emails are inappropriate, namely at work when everyone's time is supposed to be valuable. But if you have a lot to say, and want to say it digitally, why apologize?

194) To Second-Guess 5:18 PM

(Photo from Chicago Now.)

second-guess
–verb (used with object)
1. to use hindsight in criticizing or correcting.
2. to predict (something) or outguess (someone)
(from Dictionary.com)

I've been thinking about second-guessing lately. When you make big life changes, it's only natural. Initially I figured that to second-guess implied that at some point there was a first guess. A first prediction of what the outcome might be. To second-guess, then, is to question the first guess along the way.

Apparently, I was mistaken. To second-guess is to criticize or question actions or decisions of (someone) often after the results of those actions or decisions are known. There's hindsight involved.

The origin, according to Dictionary.com (appropriate for all the World Series watchers out there) is:

1941, back-formation from second-guesser (1937), Amer.Eng., originally baseball slang for a fan who loudly questions decisions by players, managers, etc.; perhaps from guesser in the baseball slang sense of "umpire."

As we play ump in our own lives, categorizing our decisions and actions (STRIKE! FOUL! and hopefully not YER OUTTA THERE), I can't think of anything more useless than second-guessing. Especially when the outcome is yet to be known. The word has such negative connotations, no? In the end, it's really just double speak for doubt, fear, and apprehension.

Ah, word play. I should make that a tag. I've been interviewing, so my mind is elsewhere.

193) Love/Hate Appeal 2:47 PM

The good people over at Mashable brought the following trailer to my attention:



Absorb what you've just watched. A movie about Justin Bieber and his rise to fame. In 3D. You know you're in for something special when the typeface starts coming at you.

In all seriousness, Justin Bieber is one of those fascinating pop figures capable of attracting an equal number of adoring fans and vehement haters. Everything that his fans love - his voice, adorable face, charisma, his bubblegum music - instills a dislike so intense in some that it drives them to action. Wikipedia lists some of the offenses in a section called, "Target for critics, pranksters and parodies":

He has been a frequent target for internet bloggers and message board posters —notably by users of internet message board 4chan, users of YouTube, and various Facebook groups. Pranks have included a successful campaign to push "Justin Bieber Syphilis" to the top of the Google Trends Hot Searches list; hacked YouTube videos that were altered so as to redirect users to adult websites or trigger pop-up messages saying that Bieber had been killed in a car accident; his Last.fm photograph being changed to pornographic images; various rumors circulated, from rumors that Bieber had died, joined a cult, or even that his mother was offered $50,000 to pose topless in Playboy magazine—none of which were true.

Most notable was the campaign to send Bieber to North Korea as part of his world tour. This was carried out in part by 4chan users voting for the country on the tour's website, for the free competition to nominate a bonus country for the tour.

Nick Collins of the Daily Telegraph attempted to explain Bieber's love/hate appeal, noting that the origin of his fame - the Internet - is now the source of his harshest criticism (which should be true for most things, shouldn't it? Where else can the common folk voice their opinion?). Collins' points to Bieber's success at a young age, but also notes that, "Bieber's character also appears to strike a particularly sour note with his internet critics, with many remarks commenting on his youthful appearance, his teen-pop songs, his image as a heart-throb to young teenage girls and his manner of speech."

That phrase right there - that his character appears to strike a particularly sour note with his critics - what is that?? I want to define that particularly sour note because it has proven to be a powerful motivator. Is it just that a girly sounding, effeminate pop star is an easy target? Is it that his music doesn't deserve the praise and popularity it's received (subjective, of course)? He certainly isn't the first youthful looking teen pop idol/heart throb, so what, exactly, is grating these people the wrong way?

192) Mimicry 5:00 PM

There's this old Dilbert comic (that I wish I could find, arg no luck) in which Dilbert tells Alice that in order to succeed, you have to imitate the one who has the power to promote you. The last panel shows Alice dressed and hair styled in two cones like the Pointy-Haired Boss, much to his delight.

In an earlier episode of The Office, Andy talks about how he imitates people's mannerisms in order to earn their trust. When he is first introduced to Michael Scott, he apes his ridiculous behavior as his own. Cut to Michael saying that that Andy Bernard seems like a smart guy. (Again, a video clip would be helpful.)

I was going through some recent emails when I realized that I do the same sort of mimicry in my digital correspondences. I take capitalization (usually a sign of the level of casual), punctuation (example - use of exclamation points), line spacing, and even sign off cues from whomever wrote me. I'm like a stylistic chameleon.

It's funny that we all take cues from each other, rubbing off behavior right and left. Subconsciously it makes us feel normalized, part of a like-minded pack that self-validates in circles.

191) A Movement as a Brand 3:45 PM

(Photo from Box Turtle Bulletin.)

Today I was settling into some late afternoon reading when I heard chanting making its way down the street towards me. It had the tell-tale rhythm of a protest march, so I poked my head out the window to see what neighborhood issue was being addressed. I was surprised to see a group of 20-25 vocal LGBTs waving signs reading, "I'm Here and I'm Queer, "Make Greenpoint Safe," and the most creative, "Fists are for Fisting," in response to a recent series of gay bashings in Greenpoint.

To be honest, the sight of them made me a little sad. I consider myself a supporter of gay rights and understand the value of local protests, but something about the whole thing struck me as a bit archaic. The fact that in this day and age in what is considered one of the most diverse and tolerant cities in the US (Brooklyn being part of NY), small groups have to march and demand safety in their own neighborhood is, well, sad.

It also got me thinking. Most of the public at large sees the gay rights movement as the battle for same-sex marriage equality. But the recent media attention on gay bullying and these neighborhood protests adds further dimension to the situation. It sheds light on anti-gay sentiment that runs deeper than simply believing that marriage should be between a man and a woman. It's hard to say what's worse - being denied the right to be with the one you love or feeling unsafe in your own neighborhood. It's like two equally terrible sides of the same coin.

Let's think of the gay rights movement as a brand with activism as the product. According to TIME, the brand is 84 years old. Using census and market data Harris Interactive estimates that 6.8% of Americans over the age of 18 - roughly 15 to 16 million - self-identify as LGBT. These are our brand zealots, fiercely loyal consumers who live, breathe and buy the brand, advocating it whenever possible. (Generalizing a bit, of course, since there are varying degrees of active involvement within the LGBT population.) Then you have those who have a positive perception of the brand. They support it, but may or may not convert to purchase (there are after all, so many other brands to spend one's time, money and energy on - eco, peace in the Middle East, etc). And on the other end, of course, are the people with a negative perception of the brand, those who won't buy and will even go out of their way to give the brand a bad name.

Just as white supporters of the Civil Rights Movement helped propel the cause into mainstream consciousness, the non-LGBT brand supporters must be pushed from consideration to purchase. So far, the brand has seen waves of public attention (including, but not limited to Harvey Milk, Matthew Shepard, Tyler Clementi) but I think it will take a more sustained presence in the media to turn things around.

This is getting long, and I think there's a lot more to be said about the gay rights movement as a brand, how the brand has been portrayed in the past, and how it should be presented moving forward. Just some initial set-up thoughts...hopefully Part 2 tomorrow.

Let's Keep it Professional 12:51 PM

Me yesterday: whine, whine, emote, emote, whine. Feeling much better today. Moving forward, will try to avoid writing in the midst of emotional valleys, as it takes away from the The Plan's primary purpose. Thanks to those who sent kindly worded emails.

Your regularly scheduled post to come later today.

190) Mr. Lonely 10:52 AM

(Photo from theage.com.)

First, apologies for the briefest of posts last night. I got caught in one of those unplanned, out late social situations where the only way to get the entry done was on my cellphone. Second, the more I listen to the video blog post I made a couple days ago, the more I realize it sounds nothing like me. I have no idea why I pitched my voice so high, but my real voice is lower and less girly sounding. I guess it was a combination of self-consciousness, hesitation over not knowing what to say, and sleepiness.

Rebuilding a social circle from the ground up is proving to be just as hard as I anticipated. Before I made the move, I told myself there would be days where I would feel lonely. Having a handful of friends that live here is all well and fine, but as much as they try to include me in their own social circles, I feel out of place, like a square peg being wedged into a circular hole. This is not meant to sound ungrateful - I love my old friends who are here, and appreciate it so much when they include me, when they introduce me to new people. It doesn't help that my personality is pointedly introverted, making new social situations a task.

I know that things will get easier and get better. I moved to NY for something new, and this, this is part of the newness. Starting at a new job, having some structure in my days will help a lot. I called on some faraway friends tonight, to talk through some of the loneliness, and it definitely helped. I feel like this is a cliche phase in the whole uproot and move process, so I thought I'd document it. Hopefully soon I'll look back and realize how good things have gotten since then.

189) Bowling 7:56 PM

There's something extra embarrassing about bowling. The waiting to see what your ball does, and the subsequent turning around to face the group and their reactions. In clown shoes nonetheless.

Typed at Brooklyn Bowl. That's all for tonight.

188) Video Blogging 3:47 PM

Was out late last night, and have been in a zombiefied mood all day. Reminds me of when I went to sleepovers as a kid, and my mom would lament that the next day was always a complete waste. I've been sitting in front of the computer for the past few hours trying to formulate something vaguely meaningful and coherent. No luck, so I figured I'd just start typing.

And then I made a couple videos in lieu of writing a post. A couple things to note:

1) The beginning starts out a little slow, quiet and shy. Bear with me, dear readers, it's my first attempt at video blogging. Part 1 is the warm up. Part 2 sounds a lot more like me. Update: My brother Max made the astute observation that I have a "blog voice" and that this isn't what my voice really sounds like. Funny.
2) I'm talking about a very specific kind of blogger. Basically, one like me whose blog centers around writing, and not video content. And I'm referring to a very specific kind of video - one where the blogger talks directly to his/her audience.
3) Oh, the bevy of ums. Please forgive me, past speech teachers and Mom. I like to think I'm just riffing.
4) How attractive are the video stills?

Without further ado:
(Mini aside - And by without further ado, I mean ART CARD: THREE HOURS LATER. Upload issues abound. A big thanks to Nick who helped me sync up the audio.)

187) Ignorance, So Hot Right Now 8:44 AM

(Photos from The Book Buff and famecrawler.)

This morning I read an op-ed article in the New York Times by Maureen Dowd entitled, "Making Ignorance Chic." In it, Dowd makes the comparison between Marilyn Monroe's self-aware brand of "dumb blond" who, despite her looks also strove to be book smart, and Sarah Palin's unwitting campaign to make ignorance fashionable through her fumbles and misspeaks.

I see what Dowd is getting at, but I don't think that Sarah Palin and the other female politicos that Dows lists are at the forefront of this movement of stupidity. There have been plenty of examples in pop culture, old and new, that point to the idea that dumb equals cool. A short list of examples:

- Christina Applegate's character, the vapid and promiscuous Kelly Bundy, in the TV series Married with Children.
- Movies like Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, Bring it On, The House Bunny
- Megabimbos Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson
- Male examples: Joey on Friends, Dumb and Dumber, Finn on Glee
- Diesel's "Be Stupid" campaign (Worth a look, very interesting. To their credit, they use "stupid" as a synonym for spontaneous, leaping without thinking, much less looking.)

This is not to say that counter examples of smart females don't exist (see: Ariana Huffington, Hilary Clinton, Diane Sawyer, Natalie Portman, Hermoine Granger). They just don't receive the same type of mass embracing that the ignorant receive. The irony is that their intelligence is what keeps them from the spotlight. The dumb are less intimidating to the layman (thinking: Palin endorsed a candidate for the Pennsylvania Senate seat who is the nominee in West Virginia...but I can't name any senators whatsoever, so she's just like me!), and thus more accepted.

Dowd isn't wrong in saying that Palin plays a hand in making ignorance chic. What's scary is that Palin is taking an old pattern from for-entertainment-only pop culture and applying it to politics.

186) Brand Revolution Part 2 4:03 PM

(Click image to enlarge. Photo from Bloomberg Businessweek.)

A couple days ago I wrote about brand revolution, inspired by a video posted by Perez Hilton. At the time, I thought it would be clever to come up with an example of another brand that is attempting brand revolution in response to some problem. As a refresher, I'm defining brand revolution as a brand's abandonment or reversal of their core, defining element(s).

Well, it took a few days, but I found another recent example. Back in August, Bloomberg Businessweek wrote an article titled, "American Apparel's Unhip Finances." In a nutshell, it detailed the decline of the company's stock, which at the time was trading at below $1 (currently at 1.19), and brand perception. Never mind founder and CEO Dov Charney's sometimes questionable and risky behavior. What interests me the most is his own explanation for the downward swoosh in sales - "Hipster is over."

And even more interesting is his logical solution to his seemingly obvious explanation. From Bloomberg Businessweek:

The biggest challenge of all may be stylistic. After outfitting the world of 18- to 30-year-olds in all manner of T-shirts and leggings, which still rank among the company's best-sellers, American Apparel is going preppy, diving into more sophisticated garments such as blazers, pleated pants, button-down shirts, and more formal lace tops. "Kids are moving away from piercings," Charney says. "We want to grow old with our customer. We want to be a traditional American clothier."

American Apparel, with its lace bodysuits, assless tights, and neon nylon bike shorts, is the last thing I think of when I hear "traditional American clothier." The brand was built and grown on its hipster notoriety and sex appeal (Google image search "American Apparel ad" at your own risk). For it to swing so far in the opposite direction and appeal to those from whom hipsters sought to distance themselves (the mainstream, shudder) is brand revolution in every sense.

Like with Perez Hilton, it will be interesting to see how this plays out and what consumer response will be. As long as Charney is at the wheel, I think the brand will find ways to do their own take on preppy. That is, I don't think the scandalous ad aesthetic is going anywhere anytime soon.

185) NYCC 11:28 AM

Last week, I offhandedly mentioned that I went to New York Comic Con in a mini aside. As the self-proclaimed "largest pop culture event on the East Coast," I think it deserves some attention. My good friend Evan was kind enough to snag me two all-access passes, one of which I gave to my other friend and Comic Con companion, also named Evan.

For those who are unfamiliar, Comic Con is a congregation of the latest and greatest in comics, graphic novels, anime, manga, video games, toys, movies, and television. To the outside observer and the press at large, it's the pinnacle of all things nerd. Those in plain clothes come and gawk at the costumed enthusiasts who come out in droves to mingle, pose and partake in what must be the event of the year.

A little taste for you:

New York Comic Con 2010 from Matt Hoverman on Vimeo.

As an appreciator of graphic novels, yet still very much an outsider, it's hard to write about Comic Con without sounding judgmental. I think this is reflected in a lot of the mainstream press coverage of the event. It's a catch-22 of sorts. By covering the convention, making "best of Comic Con costumes" photo slideshows, it emphasizes the marginalized "otherness" of attendees. But no coverage at all would mean further obscurity from the mainstream. The question is whether we the general public can objectively appreciate Comic Con, or if the experience is really for enthusiasts eyes only?

A few things to consider. First, the increasing presence of mainstream pop culture - for example, Ubisoft's Michael Jackson The Experience demo, or the booth devoted to the highly anticipated movie, Tron. Second, first-hand accounts of self-proclaimed Comic Con enthusiasts, like Adam Reisinger. Lastly, the most insightful take on NYCC I've read, Medium Anxiety: Culture Shock at New York Comic Con by Michael Thomsen.

And just for the record - I loved going to Comic Con.

184) Brand Essence 7:42 PM

(Photo from RadBadvertising.)

Close your eyes. Scratch that. Read this first and then close your eyes. Imagine you're walking down the street and you pass a Subway. Breathe in deeply. Can you imagine the smell? It's a very distinct, artificially sweet scent of warmed bread with a hint of pre-cut vegetables. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Google "the Subway smell" or "the Subway restaurant smell." Clearly, there's a distinguishable smell noticed by the public.

Some brands are scented. I'm not talking about Starbucks smelling of roasted coffee - walk into a Peet's or a Coffeebean, and you'll smell the same thing (though to be fair, Coffeebean always smells sweeter to me, like their baked goods more than their grinds). Or Pizza Hut smelling like pizza. The smell is unique to that brand, highly recognizable and not necessarily related to the product being sold. Example - if I think about what a generic sandwich smells like, I don't think of the Subway smell. The Subway sandwiches themselves don't smell like the Subway smell. It's the store locations with their ovens and assembly lines that emit the identifying scent.

Another example - Abercrombie and Fitch. Ever walk through the mall and get hit by a wave of a very specific pre-pubescent cologne? Chances are you're in front of an Abercrombie store. They sell a fragrance for men called "Fierce" and either continually pump it throughout the store or force their employees to bathe in it, because every location reeks of it. I swear even A&F catalogs that come in the mail smell faintly of it.

Smell is a powerful sense, able to bring memories back with startling clarity. These rare brands with scents have a potent tool with which to build strong emotional cues.

183) Brand Revolution 3:41 PM

On Wednesday, infamously scathing celebrity blogger Perez Hilton posted the above video on Perezhilton.com (sigh...yes, I read Perez Hilton). In it, an emotional but determined Hilton explains that to help combat the rash of bullying-induced suicides of late, he will be changing his ways and will be less of a bully himself. The video caught my attention because it's a great example of what I'm calling brand revolution.

Hilton has earned his fame by being the acidic, name-calling, downright nasty blogger we love to hate. Say what you will about him, but his personality, style and writing have catapulted him into his own celebdom, complete with red carpet appearances at the biggest pop culture events, radio shows, and a growing roster of sub-brand sites: CocoPerez.com for fashion, TeddyHilton.com for animal lovers, and the recently launched FitPerez.com for health and wellness.

So he's built a brand for himself and diversified under the Perez umbrella. But to do the right thing, Hilton says he will stop the name-calling and cease his mean girl act in his celebrity coverage. He challenges himself to be smarter, more clever and funnier in his analysis of current events. All in all, a noble goal.

(Mini aside - Ta-dah! The half way mark. 182.5 of 365 days of The Plan completed. Thanks for following along!)

But he also says he won't sanitize what he does. That he still wants to be Perez Hilton in all his sassiness. Herein lies the dilemma. Can a brand built on and defined by one thing (in this case, a shape tongue) abandon said one thing without diluting the brand? Can it evolve into something else entirely?

Hilton admits in the video that he risks losing readership if he tones things down. But to him, that's a price to be paid for doing the right thing. A quick perusal of YouTube comments on the above video, show people highly split. Some applaud his announcement. Some are skeptical of actual change taking place. Some make death threats. Some claim that Hilton's meanness was the only thing that kept them from reading, and that they would now give him a chance. And some lament the self-censorship of their favorite celebrity blogger.

It'll be interesting to monitor site traffic over the next few months, to see if this reformed Perez Hilton has any positive or negative effect on the numbers.

(Mini aside #2 - My good friend Kina commented that I still have my time stamp set to PST. I had changed it to EST, but realized that it messed up the dates of my previous posts, making it look like I was inconsistent with posting. So to keep things in order, I'm keeping blog time on the west coast.)

182) Random Acts of Kindness 7:46 PM

(Photo from Wikipedia.)

Yesterday I experienced a random act of kindness.

I had an appointment to see an apartment close to Times Square (flashbacks of working on Hollywood Blvd...shudder), but was about twenty minutes early. It had started to rain, so I ducked into the church of St. Mary the Virgin across the street. I figured I'd stay dry and check out the architecture in the meantime. (Those who know me know that I'm agnostic, but have an appreciation for places of worship.)

After wandering around the dark, empty church, I prepared to face the cold and the wet outside. Then I heard someone say, "Hey," behind me. I tensed and turned to see a man in plain clothes. My don't-talk-to-strangers guard went up.

"Do you have an umbrella?" he said.

I admitted that I didn't.

"Would you like one? We have extras."

He went into a back room and came back with a compact zebra patterned umbrella. He explained that church goers often leave their umbrellas behind and never come back for them. As I took the orphaned umbrella, I braced myself for the religiously motivated conversion speech that I thought would follow.

Nothing. He bid me goodbye, and went about his business.

The umbrella was a total lifesaver, as it continued to rain for the rest of the day. It was a small gesture that didn't ask for anything in return, and it made all the difference. In every sense of the phrase, it was a random act of kindness.

As much as I'd like to have nice things like that happen to me all the time, I think it's the rarity of random acts of kindness that makes them so profound and memorable. Like any good thing in excess, we would come to take them for granted. Yes, maybe the world would be a better place if everyone committed random acts of kindness every day. But it would cease to be random, and be more like expected acts of kindness. By keeping random acts of kindness, well, random, we are better able to appreciate the juxtaposition of extra kindness and everyday life. Thus, each random act remains impactful when experienced.

181) Roommate for Rent 4:27 PM

Looking for an apartment in New York sans job is a special kind of hell. Being judged by stranger after stranger is tough. I get it, no one wants to deal with a subletter who can't pay rent. But how can I convince them that I would have never shown up if I didn't have the means to pay for rent month after month? That I graduated at the top of my class, had a great full-time job for two years, have never missed a rent payment, and am job hunting my ass off as we speak? It's like trying to convince someone you're sane - you just end up sounding crazy.

I was hesitant to write about this tonight, seeing as I send the link to my blog as part of my reply to Craigslist ads, in order to convey some personality. To those who are considering me as a subletter - you know when people talk about how lucky they were to find an awesome random roommate off Craigslist? I'm one of those awesome randoms.

(Mini aside - Half of 365 is 182.5, so tomorrow's post is the half way point! Time flies.)

180) Laws of Attraction 6:50 PM

Tonight at dinner, the topic of whether males or females are better able to disassociate physical appearance from personality came up. Think about it. If you saw a cute girl or guy across the room, but then heard from a friend that (s)he was an asshole, would their level of attractiveness be affected?

The generalization would be that men are better able to consider looks and personality separately, and thus, their perception of how good a girl looks wouldn't be affected by rumblings of douchebaggery. Women, it is said, have a harder time considering looks and personality as two separate entities. Biologically, this would make sense. If men are all about spreading their seed, and women are looking for a mate that will stick around, then personality should carry more weight in the female mind.

What makes this tricky is the complicated dynamics of casual male-female relations. We're not necessarily talking about wanting to get into relationship here. Or are we? Can we separate the want to hook up with the want to date? I think men have this down to an art (again, a generalization), but women subconsciously think relationship potential in every encounter.

A lot of musing tonight, but little conclusion. My cousin Iris and I have been talking in circles about it. She suggested some in the field research. Smart girl.

179) In It to Win It 8:09 PM

(Photo from Mashable.)

There was an article on Mashable today that looked at whether The Social Network had affected Facebook's brand perception. Stats gathered for three demographic groups from YouGov BrandIndex, a daily consumer perception research service, suggest some interesting points.

To generalize, positive brand perception among 18-34 year olds increased, more than doubling from the week before to the week after the movie release. On the other hand, the already lower perception of the 50+ group dipped down further in the days leading up to the release.

Speculation and comments point to an increased admiration and understanding for Facebook among the younger demographic. The do-whatever-it-takes-to-achieve-greatness attitude of Zuckerberg seems to be more appreciated by the younger generation, and frowned upon by the elders. While the data obviously can't establish a direct link between the movie and Facebook's brand perception, it raises the question of whether the younger demographic is wired differently than their parents when it comes to abstract concepts like success, integrity, and the greater good (think about it - Facebook as the social network that connects us is considered the greater good in the movie). While general morals seem universal, are we the youth more willing to step on others to achieve success?

178) Elements of Sexy 1:24 PM

Esquire just announced Minka Kelly as their pick for 2010's Sexiest Woman Alive. To celebrate Minka in all her sexiness, the magazine shot and put together a short two minute video. As a reputable men's magazine, we can agree that what Esquire considers sexy carries some weight with the general public. Given that the goal of the video was to maximize the amount of sexiness, it seems like a good reference for what is considered sexy in this day and age.

Watch the video below, and then check out my itemized list of elements of sexy. WARNING: Video and list are NSFW. No nudity, but I'd still save it for home.



Elements of Sexy (in order of appearance)
- black bras and stilettos - on or discarded, casually strewn
- white lacy bras and undies
- fingers trailing near mouths
- women in oversized men's button down shirts with peekabo breasts
- thick black rimmed glasses
- wrapping fingers in hair
- satin sheets
- cleavage
- grabbing handfuls of shag rug
- black corsets
- white tees worn with undies
- hints of dominatrix - elbow-length black gloves
- Louboutins
- shots of fingers playing with straps
- skinny women who eat chocolate
- lush, full, dark hair
- allusions to female masturbation
- glossy lips
- arched backs
- black nail polish
- biting things
- fan-blown hair
- strong eye contact

Risque? Yes. Just calling it as I see it. The list includes many old favorites - the biological cues of a sexually willing female. The men's shirt, black glasses, dominatrix and eye contact elements all suggest a dominant female. Then you have your dichotomies - the slender woman who ravishes chocolate, and the woman who is both the black lace corset femme fatale one moment and the innocent white tee wearing girl next door the next. Most impressive is the only recognizable brand in the entire video - Louboutin with their iconic red soles has become synonymous with sexy.

New City, New State 9:15 PM

I felt like the last couple of entries were devoid of any personal updates, so I thought I'd write an aside. For those who don't follow along, I just moved to New York after three and a half months of slowly detaching myself from LA.

The day of my flight was more emotional than I anticipated, but I tried to keep it to myself. I felt like any signs of sadness would be seen like hesitation, like weakness after so much build-up. It wasn't so much that I was sad to leave CA. It was more the sense that this was a day of significance, the start of something new and possibly momentous.

Flew Airtran for the first time. Paid $94 in bag fees (-1), forgot to take out my liquids when I went through security but didn't get stopped (+1), and made my 45 minute layover in Atlanta that had caused me so much anxiety with time to spare (+2).

The weather has been gorgeous in NY this weekend. Walking around exploring Brooklyn in the sun on Saturday, it felt like I was still in CA. Today was pretty productive. Highlights: brunch at Public with good company (I'd forgotten how much I like going out for brunch), the Re:Form School exhibit (NYers - highly recommended! Tomorrow is the last day), and the best people watching ever at Comic Con NY.

Overall, I'm so happy to actually be here, excited to explore, enjoying public transportation, and reuniting with friends who've traveled east. To friends and family elsewhere - all's well! Come visit soon!

177) Costume Predictions 5:35 PM

It's that time of year again. Time for some serious self-reflection and creative brainstorming. Because if you don't start thinking now, October 31st will sneak up on you and you'll be stuck with a (gasp) mediocre Halloween costume. This is your official three week warning.

Today, I thought I'd take a stab at predicting some of this year's most popular alter egos.


1) The Jersey Shore kids. Break out the spray tan, hair gel, and the Ed Hardy. A loud, look-at-me costume that requires the wearer to get stupid drunk and obnoxious to stay in character. Great for groups, though Snooki and The Situation will also be popular solo costumes thanks to the iconic hair poof, and the 12-pack, respectively. Clever trios can go as Gym, Tan, and Laundry (GTL, collectively).


2) The Old Spice guy. A towel, a bottle of Old Spice body wash, and BAM, you're one of the most recognizable and viral characters from the ad world this year. Oh, just one more thing - you have to be black. I hate talking about race, but Isaiah Mustafa as a whole brings a certain something to the spokesperson. A white guy in the costume somehow falls short.


3) Avatar. Halloween dabblers need not apply. This is for the hardcore costumers. We're talking full body blue make-up (Tobias Funke, anyone?), loin cloths, long hair, pointy ears and tail. Also good for groups, or tribes.

4) Elin chasing Tiger with a golf club. Lindsay Lohan in cuffs. BP execs covered in oil. Take your pick of train wrecks this year.


5) Justin Bieber. Funniest on a female. The must-have piece of course, is the wig.

6) This one isn't really a prediction, just something I think would be funny. As an updated 2010 version of the Facebook profile costume, how about a The Social Network movie poster costume? Just print "YOU DON'T GET TO 500 MILLION FRIENDS WITHOUT MAKING A FEW ENEMIES" in white type on a large transparency, and figure out some way to rig it to your face. Practice wide-eyed, mouth agape pose in the mirror.

176) Restaurant Americana 8:28 PM

Ah, restaurant slash bar trend known as Americana. Rustic and warm, it's characterized by lots of grainy, unstained wood, dim lantern-like lighting, mason jar decorations and/or cups, flannel-clad clientele, and the pieces de resistance, the taxidermy. Basically, picture yourself in a log cabin.

The woodsy, manly charm of Americana establishments has been popping up in major cities for the past five or six years. Reminiscent of hipster idol John Deere and with shades of Thoreau's Walden, it harkens back to a time of masculine self-sufficiency. The whole, I-shot-this-deer-and-smoked-its-meat-and-mounted-its-head idea. Modern architecture and interior design allows for this roughin-it aesthetic to be applied and enjoyed in a more polished way.

Some examples. Notice the names:
Freemans in New York. Considered by some as l'original.

(Photo from feastwilliamsburg.)

Bigfoot Lodge West in Los Angeles.

(Photo from LA Weekly.)

Lodge in Williamsburg. Notice the lack of a definitive article.

(Photo from Lodge.)

Bourbon and Branch in San Francisco.

(Photo from Esquire.)

175) Blast from the Narrative Past 9:57 AM

(Mini aside - It's October 8, which means I'm moving to NY today! I leave for the airport in 30 minutes and will arrive late, so today's post is a vignette I wrote in college. It's a shade emo, and a pinch corny but it reflects my whole opposite-sex-good-friend theory. Enjoy!)


(Photo from webshots.)

“Do you want to swim out to the buoy?”

It was a loaded question, of course. He never meant it as a challenge, but I always saw his suggestions as a push to match his greatness.

The day had turned out colder and grayer than expected. A chilled wind kept goose bumps on our skin as we stood at the ocean’s edge, just out of sea foam’s reach. The elusive sun, radiant as we were leaving for the beach, was now tucked away behind thick coastal clouds.

The buoy’s red and white stripes had caught his eye. To me it looked to be about one swimming pool’s length from shore, though it was probably closer to a mile away. We were both reasonably strong swimmers, having swum for our respective high school teams. As we eyed the water it was no matter that the current looked a little strong, that the swells were a bit large. If he thought I could do it, I could.

We ran over the foam, kicking up spurts of salty water, and shallow-dived under the marbled surf. Coming up, we started to swim, our sweeping strokes carrying us away from the beach. The icy water sent shocks of cold through us, seizing our breath, causing us to gasp. It numbed our limbs as we kicked furiously to get ourselves closer to our destination. It was no easy task with unforgiving waves that kept pushing us back, impeding our progress. Looking up in time to see the crest of a wave looming above us, poised to come crashing down sent us plunging under the white water. After a particularly violent one, I surfaced, disoriented.

“You okay?”

He stopped his stroke and came closer. His lips were blueberry. Ribbons of cold water laced around my legs and the vastly murky unknown of open water sent mental chills through my head. But as we tread water side by side, exhausted, I thought, I am exactly where I want to be.

Of course, he would never know how much I cared. To him I was a friend at least, and a good friend at most. He would never know how badly I wanted his approval, and how this want drove me to do things I would never do on my own.

We turned and let the tide propel us back to the beach where towels, friends, and beer waited patiently. The sea-salt truth is that we’ll probably never reach the buoy. Its red and white will always be farther than it appears.

And yet, it hardly matters.

It’s the swim.

174) Snap Crackle Stop 10:51 PM

A couple days ago, FritoLay announced that it will discontinue its biodegradable chip bags on all Sun Chips flavors except for Original. This came after a chorus of consumer complaints over the loudness of the bags.



The crinkly, crackling, compostable bag has been compared to a "revving motorcycle" or "glass breaking," according to the Wall Street Journal. And who can ignore the oft-mentioned Facebook group, SORRY BUT I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THIS SUN CHIPS BAG that currently boasts 49,173 disgruntled snackers.

Yes, the eco-friendly bags make more noise than the ones that clog up landfills. And just think of all those suffering. From the Facebook group, as quoted in the WSJ - it's "the worst when your stoned at 2am and trying to not wake up the house," one person said. Likewise, the dieter who sneaks a handful of chips doesn't want a 95 decibel crackling salute. And movie theaters? Forget about it.

While I'm all for being receptive of consumer feedback, it's a shame that it had to come at the price of eco progress. The biodegradable bags were the first of its kind, a revolution in the mass packaging field.

We demand change, but we don't want it at the expense of our comfort or resources. Separating out the recyclables takes more time, organic food costs more, fluorescent lighting is harsher, and compostable bags are louder. While the green consumer movement hums along, it seems we're not yet at the point where we think the environment deserves a little sacrifice on our end. Someday, will it get so dire that we'll be able to suck it up and handle a louder chip bag?

173) I Like it on the Floor 8:00 PM

"I like it on the floor."
"I like it on the stairs."
"I like it hanging from the edge of a table."



Suggestive Facebook statuses such as these have been populating News Feeds this month, in the latest Breast Cancer Awareness Month effort. The "it" in this case refers to a woman's purse. Reminiscent of last year's push, in which women posted the color of their bras in a cryptic way, the key of the campaign is to keep the boys guessing, and thus, raise awareness.

Read that last paragraph over again. If it didn't make a shred of sense to you, you're not alone. Let's break it down.

It's apparent that whoever (no article I've seen can pinpoint the source) came up with this year's idea was riding high off last year's successfully viral bra color status update concept. To their credit, the coy intrigue did pay off - the connection between bra color (naughty!) and breast cancer was easy for everyone to grasp. That's why the choice to use purses this year is puzzling. It's almost as if they came up with the innuendo-laden statuses first and then worked backwards. (Who the hell goes around saying, "I like my purse on the floor"??)

The sad part is, they were close to an innuendo campaign that makes perfect sense. Statuses like, "I like doing it in the shower" work perfectly if the "it" refers to a self-breast exam, which has everything to do with breast cancer awareness.

I'll admit, an innuendo-driven campaign is a great way to boost participation. What female doesn't want to seem a little naughty (aka get a little social media attention) in the name of a good cause? And what better way to get the attention of males? According to the Daily Mail, "the ‘don’t tell the boys’ element of the game has been a roaring success, with ‘I like it on the floor’ becoming one of the top searched internet phrases of the moment." But if the point is to keep men in the dark, what does the final reveal (...purses...and breast cancer) really mean to them, the sex with no breasts?

I applaud the powers that be who are thinking of ways to use social media to raise awareness for an important cause. This one just missed the mark a nip.

172) In The Closet 9:17 PM

The other day I heard someone say, "I'm a closet Britney fan," and I got to thinking about the expression. Generally understood to refer to an enclosed recess for linens, household supplies or clothing, the closet has evolved connotations of deep secrecy. According to its usage, it's the place we go to be our true selves, to engage in all the behavior that we deem socially unacceptable.

Skeletons in the closet, gays in the closet, 7 minutes in heaven (in the closet), R Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet"(see below) - somehow the small, dark confines of the closet provides protection from the judgment of the rest of the world.



The irony is that when used as an adjective ("I'm a closet anarchist" or "I'm a closet McDonalds fiend), it becomes a qualifier. It allows us to reveal something about ourselves that we want others to know, but don't want to be judged for. By being just a closet something, we don't fully embrace said something, and acknowledge it as uncool, unpopular or even unsavory. By insinuating that we only indulge in the privacy of our closets, it somehow becomes acceptable.

That being said, what we choose to reveal in our closets says a lot about the type of person we want to be perceived as.

171) It Gets Better 10:21 PM

Late last month, sex columnist and all-around awesome guy Dan Savage launched the "It Gets Better Project" in response to the recent rash of gay youth suicides. Using YouTube as a way to reach often-sheltered gay teens is one of the best uses of the platform I've seen in awhile. It's a collaborative effort that mixes advocacy with personal messages from those who've survived the horror of high school. Best of all, it creates a direct portal to a target audience in need.

Savage explains to Entertainment Weekly:

“Schools would never bring me in or any gay adults in,” he says. “And their parents are often homophobic, which adds to their distress and isolation. It occurred to me that I was waiting for an invitation and waiting for permission, and I didn’t need anyone’s permission anymore because of YouTube and digital video and Twitter and Facebook. I could post a video and look into a camera and directly address these kids before they commit suicide, instead of feeling bad after they commit suicide.”

Dan Savage and his partner, Terry, of 16 years:


As a bonus, here's a video contributed by comedian Sarah Silverman that raises a poignant point:

170) The Social Network 10:17 PM

Tonight, a few observations on The Social Network:

1) Was it just me, or was there some serious Jewish vs. Aryan subtext in the Zuckerberg vs. Winklevoss twins face off? (P.S. - Winklevoss? You cannot write a better silver spoon Harvard elite name.)


versus:

and in real life...at The Social Network world premiere...:


2) The moment when Mark realizes that he has to add "Relationship Status" and "Interested In" to Facebook before it went live is perfection. Let's all take a moment to revel in the idea that deep down at the core of social relations is our desire to mate. Or as Eduardo Saverin eloquently puts it in the movie - everyone wants to get laid.

3) I've seen several status updates on Facebook in the past few days that comment on the metatastic (hmm...new favorite made up word) irony of a status update on Facebook about seeing The Social Network. Love Mark Zuckerberg or hate Mark Zuckerberg, you'll still use Facebook to let everyone know what you think.

169) Glee Appeal 8:17 PM

First, full disclosure: I don't watch Fox's hit show Glee. I've heard and read the buzz, but have only watched a handful of isolated performances. But what fascinates me about the show is its rabid fan base of all ages. It clearly has huge mass appeal, despite its resemblance at first glance to past tween phenomenon High School Musical. (I know, a sacrilegious comparison.)

Yes, there are the dramatic story lines of unrequited love, underdogs and other high school social maladies. Yes, there is the oh-so-cute and talented Mr. Schuester (I think we all had a Mr. or Ms. Schuester, whom we worshiped in high school - the most impossible of impossible crushes). Yes, there are the crowd-pleaser group performances, those feel good, belt-it-out songs of karaoke glory, like Don't Stop Believing. And who doesn't love a knock-out cover? (How much of a guilty pleasure was the Britney Spears episode?)

But what I think draws people to Glee on a deeper level is its ability to choose popular songs to insert and thereby bolster their plot lines. By putting these hits in the context of a high school drama, it gives them meaning that one can easily relate to. And I think this is what we ourselves do when we hear a song. Often, we interpret the lyrics as they relate to our own lives, infusing meaning that is relevant to us. (Have you ever heard a song that you thought was a love song about the opposite sex, only to learn later that it was written about God? Exactly.)

It's a little easier to show than to explain. A couple examples:

"Rachel's heartfelt vocal delivery gets to the core of the song's lyrics, which are made all the more poignant by the episode's context. (She finally gets to kiss her dream boy, Finn, but almost immediately afterwards, he denies it ever even happened.) When Rachel clutches her hairbrush, stares into her bedroom mirror and belts, "Don't tell me you're sorry, 'cause you're not," she's singing on behalf of the heartbroken teen in all of us." (From Billboard.com)


Sure, she's just casually singing in front of the glee club, but her impassioned performance and smoldering glances make it very clear she's talking only to her special someone.

In the end, it's the super combination of the aforementioned factors that makes Glee such a pop culture hit. They've hit on a formula that is massively appealing, plain and simple.

168) Do It Differently 9:36 PM

I have major writer's block tonight, so here are just a few examples of what I call "doing it differently". Take something ordinary and routine (how many identical flight safety monologues have you ignored in your lifetime?) and simply do it differently. It's amazing what a little variation and a hint of flair can do to help get your message across - even if it's a message that everyone's heard before.







(Mini aside - got home safely, and am blogging from my parent's couch in Palo Alto. My Miniature Pinscher Kyli is curled up with her head on my lap. Bliss.)